


Friday Afternoon

by cafephan



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Humour, post-smut, teenage!phan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-26
Updated: 2015-04-26
Packaged: 2018-03-25 22:07:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3826735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cafephan/pseuds/cafephan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At the same time for the last month or so, Dan and Phil have made a habit of ‘meeting’ in the private bathroom, away from all the classrooms. But one day, they are caught in the act by an unexpected visitor, and must find a way to get out of the inevitable interrogation and following consequences.</p>
<p>Warnings: Frequent use of taboo, references to previous sexual relations, generally overwhelming awkwardness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Friday Afternoon

Friday, 3:15. An hour before the end of the school week, the beginning of the final lesson.

As usual, two students were mysteriously absent.

As students filed into the classroom, conversation holding an excitable tone as weekend plans were discussed, the teacher kept an eye out for the two boys who seemed to have a habit of not turning up, it had been like it for weeks now.

“Daniel Howell” the teacher called out during rollcall, and of course no answer followed. Barely anyone reacted to their absences anymore, much too used to it.

“Philip Lester” again, no answer followed. A few groups of students broke into whispers which were inaudible for the teacher, and he began tapping away at his computer, simply letting them get away with it for a few seconds.

He brought up the two boys’ attendance records, and noticed the pattern. Always present for every lesson every day, with the exception of the last lesson, this lesson, every single Friday. 

“Does anyone know where Mr Howell and Mr Lester are?” the teacher brought hush over the class, and a hand at the back of the class was slowly raised.

“They’re definitely here, because we’re supposed to be meeting them after school” a brunette headed girl informed, and her friend beside her seemed to spring into life.

“I bumped into them on the way here, they were near the single-room toilets, you know, the ones where they’re not cubicles but actual rooms? The ones students aren’t supposed to use?” 

The teacher nodded, and after delivering the theory and work for the lesson, left a trainee teacher in charge and headed for the private toilet block.

***

“Do you not know the meaning of harder and faster? You’d think you’d be better at this by now” Phil stated disapprovingly as he turned to face Dan, both being red-faced and completely drained of energy.

“Yeah, because it looks like I did a shit job” Dan quipped, and turned his gaze to the wall, which was now stained.

Phil cast a quick glance at the fruits of his labour and then focused back on Dan.

“Maybe I’m just an easy fuck” he shrugged, and Dan threw his head back in laughter.

“Not what that means, Phil” he replied, and Phil pouted.

A noise outside the room caused them both to freeze.

“Daniel? Philip? I know you two are in there. I have a feeling I know why you’re in there, too” the stern voice of their teacher spoke from outside, and if it were possible in the moment, all colour would have drained from their faces.

“You fucking gave us away with your screaming!” Dan whisper-shouted, putting what little energy he had left into controlling his volume. Upon realising he was still all over Phil, legs wrapped around him and mid-lovebite making, he disentangled himself hastily and attempted to get himself together.

“I can’t help it, why don’t you try making the scratches on my back a little lighter, or try quieting down the chant you end up doing of my name?” Phil shot back, also careful of volume and pitch.

Dan shot him a glare and perched on the toilet seat, placing his head in his hands – ignoring the stickiness that occurred as a result of the action, there were bigger things to worry about.

“What the fuck are we going to do?” he asked, and Phil leant against the wall, not speaking.

“I can stay here all day, boys, don’t you worry about that” the teacher called unhelpfully, causing Phil to stifle a laugh and bite his lip to aid the process. 

Dan raked a shaking hand through his hair, and stood up once again.

“I can’t believe this is happening” Phil mused, a goofy grin complimenting his words.

“How can you be smiling? This is the worst thing that could possibly have happened! Our sixty-odd year old teacher has happened to overhear us hooking up in the toilets in the middle of school, I don’t think this is a haha moment” Dan whisper-shouted again, finding each syllable’s delivery just a little harder to control.

“We’d practically finished” Phil shrugged, and Dan scoffed.

“Excuse you, I was ready for what was coming afterwards” he stated, and Phil raised an eyebrow.

“Technically, my dear, a lot of things already came” he replied, running a finger up the wall and rubbing the substance gained from it over Dan’s almost-bare chest.

“You’re disgusting” Dan said as he reached behind Phil to get to the toilet roll dispenser, and rapidly spun the object around so he made a glove of the paper.

“Are-are you serious right now? You’re attempting to get rid of it?” Phil asked in disbelief as Dan crouched down and began attempting to wipe away the nearly-solidified substance that remained there, permanently having tainted the pristine white wall regardless.

“Do you have a better idea?” Dan asked, not paying any attention to Phil as he continued working away at the removal of his – and Phil’s – releases from the walls, and failing miserably.

“Well, actually” Phil began, and took a hold of Dan’s tie (which was left on at Phil’s request) before lifting it upwards, causing Dan to rise to a standing position to avoid getting strangled. “We could always go for round two” he whispered in Dan’s ear, taking the liberty to nibble teasingly at the skin just under his ear afterwards, which made the other boy shiver.

For a moment, Dan completely forgot about their current predicament as he wasted no time at all in initiating a rough, passionate kiss, which soon turned into a makeout session, one that made both of them weak at the knees. So much so that they stumbled back awkwardly, seeking some kind of stabilisation, but neither wanting to break their current attachment. 

As Phil’s back hit the door, which produced a loud thud, Dan jumped back and cupped a hand over his mouth, whilst Phil remained where he was, wide-eyed.

“I hope you boys are playing football or something in there to have produced that thud, because I’m sure your parents won’t be too happy to hear about what I am ninety-nine percent certain is going on when I call them in to discuss your recent attendance” 

At the teacher’s words, Phil began to shake, and his legs turned to jelly. To avoid any further heckling from his teacher, he stumbled over to one of the walls and leaned against it for support, ignoring the squelching sound as his bare skin made contact with the produce of his past self.

“Not our parents” Phil breathed, and Dan threw his hands up into the air.

“What did you think he was going to do? Let us off with a detention? No Phil, he’s caught us having sex in the middle of a lesson. You’re just now piecing it all together?” Dan spoke harshly, placing hands behind his head as he paced the bathroom back and forth, attempting to formulate an instantaneous plan.

“Well maybe we can make it seem like we weren’t doing anything? Just skipping lesson or something?” Phil suggested, praying they could make it seem that way.

“Oh and boys, I am aware of this being a weekly occurrence. I will be sure to mention that to your parents, too” the teacher informed them, and Phil rested his head against the wall and exhaled loudly, in a sad attempt to calm down.

‘He heard you!’ Dan mouthed, pointing to the door.

‘How could he?’ Phil mouthed back, and Dan resumed his pacing.

For the next two minutes, Dan and Phil worked on opposing walls, both failing to remove what they had deposited from the plastered walls, occasionally one huffing in annoyance.

“This is fucking useless” Dan announced before flopping onto the floor, which by any standard is a terrible decision.

“Maybe we could start by actually getting dressed? We’ve been naked for the last fifty minutes, thirty of them in which nothing happened” Phil suggested, separating his clothes from Dan’s in the pile of fabrics that were pooled at their feet not an hour earlier during the beginning of their steamy encounter.

Dan couldn’t help but slow down his dressing process as he watched Phil, and had to bite down on his lip to avoid saying remarks which would only make things a lot, lot worse. 

“Ew, why is my tie all wet?” Phil asked in disgust as he draped the garment over the sink, refusing to wear it.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Dan asked in rebuttal, thankful that he had already put on his trousers, otherwise the action would have been a lot harder… quite literally.

“What?” Phil asked innocently, donning his blazer thus completely finishing redressing.

“You ask me to gag you with your own tie then play it off as nothing then start what you know is my favourite kind of…. mood-bringer” Dan reeled off the thoughts relaying in his head, and a smirk began growing upon Phil’s lips.

“Mood-bringer? You mean foreplay? You see me in a uniform five days a week, why is it such a big deal” Phil stated in amusement, and watched on as a flustered Dan tried again and again to speak a functioning sentence.

“I’m a horny teenager and have no time to embark upon a journey for sexual jargon, you do the math” Dan snapped, turning his back to Phil so he could redress quicker.

“I guess I’ll have to wear this wet tie then, even though it might not be just my juices on there” Phil sang quietly as he took the fabric again, and tossed it from hand to hand as he waited for Dan’s response.

“Okay that’s it” Dan dropped the remaining clothes he had yet to put on and placed a hand behind Phil’s neck, bringing their lips together in yet another rough kiss, so rough in fact that it caused low moans to emit from both boys, but it still didn’t faze them. If anything, it spurred them on, knowing the effect they were having on the other.

“Mysterious, seemingly unprovoked moans. Interesting. Another thing added to the list of what to tell your parents” the teacher called, again causing Dan and Phil to realise the seriousness of the current situation and stop what they were doing yet again.

Before he could act upon impulse, Dan retreated back to the other side of the room and finished dressing, leaving Phil with his thoughts and contemplation.

“Bottom line, what are we going to do here? We’re just fucked, whatever we do” Phil sighed upon the realisation, and Dan leaned against the back wall, looking down at his shoes.

“In more ways than one” Dan added, his sense of humour not allowing him the opportunity to gloss over the chance for a sarcastic input.

Phil shot him a glare, his expression reading in what way is that remotely helpful as clear as day.

“Maybe we can pay him” Phil pondered with a click of his fingers.

“What?” Dan asked, not entirely sure how the hell the thought entered Phil’s head.

“Yeah, maybe we can pay him not to say anything? He seems a cool enough guy” Phil was evidently convincing himself of the idea the more he babbled on with useless justifications, and Dan shook his head.

“No, Phil. For one, i’m pretty sure that’s illegal, and two, this is the guy that gave you a zero on your end of term test because you coughed” Dan’s voice was sincere and monotone, just what brought Phil back down to reality, and back into panic.

“Text Joe and Caspar, see if they can come and distract him so we can just slip out quietly or something” Phil told Dan, who nodded and began digging through his backpack.

“I sometimes wish you’d slip out quietly. You screech like a fucking ape” Dan stated during his searching, and heard Phil mutter a string of curse words under his breath in an indirect response.

“Um, we have a problem” Dan spoke worriedly after he finished typing, and met Phil’s gaze with wide eyes.

“I think we already have the biggest problem imaginable, but do continue. Make my day even better” 

Dan held out his phone and pointed to the top-right hand corner, where a red cross was slapped across the four signal bars.

“For fucks sake” Phil exhaled as he slid down the wall, momentarily uncaring if a white trail was left as residue on the back of his blazer.

“Well, it’s officially the end of the day, you’ve missed my lesson, congratulations. I wonder what your next endeavour will be, I’ll be on the front row waiting with bated breath, boys” the teacher spoke with a sarcastic undertone of glee, which sent a shiver down Phil’s spine.

Dan sat cross-legged on the floor opposite Phil, but made no contact. They sat in silence, keeping their gazes anywhere but on each other, waiting for their next taunt.

“I need to make a quick trip to the staffroom, but please don’t go anywhere, boys, I’m thoroughly enjoying this time we’re having together here today” the teacher spoke up a few minutes later, followed by footsteps, both boys being unable to debunk which direction they were heading in.

‘He’s lying’ Phil mouthed, and Dan bit his lip.

‘We should go for it’ Dan replied silently, and Phil sighed.

What do we have to lose, Phil thought to himself, and he reluctantly slung his backpack over his shoulder and waited for Dan to do the same, and as soon as they were ready to leave, a sigh left both boys. Phil cast a glance over their shoddy attempt of removing the result of their previous encounter, and twisted the lock on the door so they could get out.

“Are you sure he’s gone?” Phil asked, and Dan shrugged.

“Maybe not, he could’ve just stomped on the spot. But even if he had, you’ve unlocked the door, we kind of have to now, don’t we?” he replied, and placed a soft kiss to Phil’s cheek.

On the silent count of three Phil opened the door, and was greeted with the unflattering sight of their towering History teacher, whom loomed over the two with an unreadable expression. Dan quickly switched off the lights so the teacher couldn’t see into the bathroom and more so what was on the walls, which wouldn’t help them in the long run, but would in the moment.

“Ah, Mr Howell and Mr Lester, how lovely for you to finally show your faces, and how odd for them to be as red as they are, the mind truly boggles” the remark was unbelievably condescending, and both Dan and Phil swallowed back nervous lumps in their throats as the teacher ordered them to his room.

***

“Until I can think of an appropriate enough punishment, a twenty thousand word essay on public decency on my desk Monday morning, eight a.m., no exceptions. I will also be contacting your parents as soon as you leave” 

Dan and Phil nodded solemnly and kept their gazes firmly on their shoes, not daring to divert it elsewhere. 

“You are dismissed. I expect to see you in every lesson from now on, but I assume that is a given” 

After another nod Dan and Phil filed out of the classroom and paced down the corridor, breathing erratically as soon as they were around the corner from their History class.

“I can’t help but think we kind of got away with it” Dan’s sentence was intonated to sound like a question, and it was obvious it was more for his own benefit.

“Let’s just get out of here. My parents are out for the night, so the joke’s on him” Phil replied, resulting in a wide grin on Dan’s face. Both knew the true purpose of Phil’s revelation of an otherwise empty house.

“Lead the way, Mr Lester” he mocked their History teacher’s delivery of his name from not too long before, and Phil swatted him on the arm whilst holding back hysterical laughter.

As they made their way out of the school building, Dan held back for a few seconds, and it took Phil a fair amount of time to realise.

“What the hell are you doing?” he asked, and Dan grinned.

“You know what I’ve noticed?” Phil shook his head to Dan’s question, and Dan ran a few steps so he was standing beside Phil. “You’re kind of hobbling a little bit there. Seems I don’t need to be harder nor faster, thankyou very much” 

He then strutted out of the school gates in the vague direction of Phil’s home, leaving the other boy slack-jawed.

“Well at least let me return the favour!” Phil shouted as he ran down the street after Dan, completely love-eyed and a cheeky smirk playing on his lips.

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t know what this is, but I enjoyed writing it, a lot. I can’t write smut so this is the best I can do. I feel this is something in a league of its own in comparison to all my other works, idk. I really like it and it may be one of my favourites??  
> But do let me know what you thought if you'd be so kind!
> 
> Read this and other works on my blog; cafephan.tumblr.com xx


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